Editorial: It’s well past time for men to take responsibility for tackling domestic violence

For too long, women have borne the brunt of domestic violence. Not only have they been the victims, but they’ve had to work to force the change in societal attitudes, behaviour and practices. The progress that has been made over the past few years is momentous and should be recognised. Few national, public discussions were had this time 10 years ago about dealing with domestic violence But it’s not enough. Too many women are dying at the hands of men. Too many women are injured at the hands of men. Too many women are forced from the workplace because of men’s behaviour and actions. Too many women are unable to realise their personal potential because of men. This is not to negate the fact that men can be victims of domestic violence — and that there is also domestic violence in LGBTQIA+ relationships. But by and large, society’s scourge is the violence too often meted out by men to women in heterosexual relationships. Men must acknowledge this, face up to it and work to change it. The answer is not to simply say: “Not all men.” We know it is not all men. The issue is not enough men are doing anything to stop the others who do. Not enough men are willing to stand up to their mates and colleagues. Not enough men are protecting women. Not enough men are taking action without prefacing their statement “as a father”. You don’t need to be a father or a brother, a grandfather or an uncle to know domestic violence is wrong, or to stand up and have your voice counted. The longer it takes us as a society to tackle this scourge, the longer we will be struggling to allow women to be fully counted and recognised. Australia cannot afford this any longer. But there’s now a new threat to the progress that’s been made to date. Those in positions of responsibility and creativity — those who make ad campaigns and other messaging that is aimed at changing behaviour — need to really think laterally, beyond what had been the prevailing wisdom for some time, and make a real effort to counter the toxic epithets of popular internet personalities like Andrew Tate. Boys need to be taught early that domestic violence is insidious and intolerable. As a society we cannot allow these ugly beliefs to take hold among young and impressionable boys and men. Our male political leaders need to take personal responsibility to not only model the type of behaviour we need but to be actively involved in changing it in their electorates and in wider society. It’s no longer OK to skimp out on this and think “it doesn’t affect me” or “that only happens in other areas”. We cannot call ourselves a civilised society while domestic violence continues to plague our community. We are better than this. It’s time we started acting like it. If you or someone you know is experiencing family violence, phone 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) or the Crisis Care Helpline on 1800 199 008.