Laura Newell: Can’t outsource the responsibility to keep our kids safe to the Government

There’s a phrase frequently uttered by my little cherub that’s guaranteed to grind my gears: “But all my friends are allowed to . . .” Inevitably, it’s used by Miss 6 when trying to wheedle us into allowing her to watch, do or drink something entirely unsuitable or far too adult for her. This week it was begging to see the second Harry Potter film while also being allowed to sup on a frozen Coca Cola. Seems we’re not alone. Attended our daughter’s junior school induction on Monday, the head of school deemed it necessary to specifically tackle the thorny topic of peer pressure amid our increasingly online-focused world. “We really ask you not to give them access to social media,” he pleaded, acknowledging the FOMO of it all. “Kids may say all their friends have all the accounts. But you can be assured that it’s not all of them and many parents that do allow it soon come to regret it”. Interestingly, what the teacher didn’t mention — which you might have expected given it’s been so widely debated over the past few weeks — was the Federal Government’s proposed social media ban for under 16s. I doubt it was because he isn’t aware of the proposals. I suspect it has more to do with the fact the plan has more holes in it than Eliza’s bucket. I only need to share with you the teacher’s follow-up comments as proof of just one flaw. “Sadly, at the moment Fortnite’s a big problem,” he said, shaking his head. “We’ve had kids access really unsuitable material after people they’ve been playing with from abroad introduced them to it.” Fortnite wouldn’t be part of the Government’s much-vaunted ban because it’s not a social media platform. And yet, like almost every computer game these days, it includes an option to chat or play with other users — anywhere in the world — with little-to-no ability to verify what kind of actor they may be. The game is already supposedly subject to restrictions, given an M rating by the Australian Classification Board, recommended for players 15-plus, so how is this a big problem in a junior school? Because parents are failing in their jobs as guardians, giving in to pester power and allowing their kids to play despite knowing the game may cause harm. And that’s the nub of our cultural social media problem. Too many mums and dads aren’t, frankly, doing enough parenting. A big call, I know, and one I make while being fully aware I’m not a perfect parent either — far from it. But we have to acknowledge that in an era where some parents are sending their kids to school not properly potty trained or display even the most basic manners, we’ve really dropped the ball. And it’s our job to pick it up again not have the Government legislate to fill the void. The toothpaste is out of the tube — we’ve normalised children having access to tablets and smartphones as well as social media. We can’t undo what has been done there. But way too many children are allowed to use devices out of sight of their parents, or with no real efforts made to police what content they’re consuming or sharing. And we’re not having enough of the tough conversations with our kids about why we need to police these things and why we’re occasionally (or frequently) going to say no when they ask for access. As nice as it would be to have a gift-wrapped social media ban delivered by the Government that really works, that’s not what is being proposed. A full-on ban is simply begging for rebellious kids to find an alternative route to their crack. And given how fast technology moves — far faster than the cogs of Federal Government — it won’t be hard for them to find it, possibly in even more dangerous and unregulated forms. As parents, we wouldn’t let our kids walk down a busy main road without supervision. Why, then, are we allowing them to navigate an information superhighway without being part of the journey?